If Osama Was A Christian...

Excuse the lack of posts lately. Been busy with my new website and other ventures. I've written movie reviews there, plus on Spill.Com.

A lot of us have read the Bible. We may not all agree with it, but a lot of us have taken one thing away from it: Jesus Christ was a man of peace. So why are there so many Christians who are absolutely insane?

There's a man in North Carolina, named Justin Moose, who used Facebook to post his plans to attack a local abortion clinic. He felt that it was his duty as a Christian to use extreme violence on abortion providers, and fancied himself "a Christian counter-part" to Osama Bin Laden.

I know there are a lot of Christians who believe that killing abortion doctors is the right thing to do, which blows my mind. I've known many Christians who feel they have a higher moral barometer than anyone who doesn't believe in God. I don't believe in religion, and I find myself more peaceful than these zealots. Bill Maher once said that Christian extremists are different from Muslim extremists. The latter are often extremely violent; ours are "just funny." Well, now we got a shining example of how that's not always the case.

"Whatever you may think about me, you're probably right," he says. "Extremist, Radical, Fundamentalist...? Yep! Terrorist...? Well, I prefer the term 'freedom Fighter.'"

Freedom? This just further proves that the hardcore religious right has no fucking clue what freedom really is. Freedom, to them, is the ability to pray to God wherever and whenever they want. That may be true, but it's so much more than that. Freedom means you're free to live as you choose, as long as you're not killing anyone.

I saw a guy on CNN recently; an anti-gay Christian complaining about the overturn of the gay marriage ban in California. "I feel like in Nazi Germany and my vote doesn't mean anything anymore," he whined, clutching to his girlfriend beside him in a desperate attempt to prove he was hetero. Um, yeah, you're an idiot. If it was Nazi Germany, the LGBT community wouldn't have any rights. They'd be put to death. So when things don't go your way, don't compare it to Hitler.

Going back to Moose, Freedom is the right for these women to choose what to do with their pregnancy. Some of these women were rape victims, incest victims, or they could die from their condition. It disgusts me that there are uber-Christie nimrods, like Sarah Palin and Christine O Donnell, who want to go to these rape/incest victims and go “I’m sorry for what happened to you, but you just have to deal with it the rest of your life. It’s what God would’ve wanted.” Guys like Moose need to leave others alone, and focus on (in his case) raising his three children and finding a job.

I'm getting so sick of all these Tea Baggers (who are usually Christian) who go around saying "our rights are being taken away because of Obama." Is there no end to the stupidity of the psychotically religious?

Which brings me back to Jesus Christ. These people are advocating violence in his name. Do you really think Jesus had this in mind? “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth. Love others, except fags and liberals. Kill abortion doctors, too. To Hell with the rape victims. They were asking for it.”

If Jesus taught me anything as an Agnostic (raised Catholic) is to love and forgive others. If someone annoys you, turn the other cheek. Don’t kill people to make your point. They bitch about how the Muslim extremists have short fuses, but they really should look in a mirror and ask “are we that different?” If you’re a Christian who can honestly say “Yes. I am a true follower of Christ and I shall live as he said and be peaceful,” congratulations. You have won my respect. But if you say this, and protest about anything that strikes you as ungodly, you need to reflect more. Besides, more room in Heaven for you, right?

read more: http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2010/09/10/100356/nc-man-self-described-as-bin-ladens.html#ixzz10TDHTKrv

REVIEW: LIFE DURING WARTIME

Usually I begin my reviews by talking about whether or not I'm a fan of the film's creator or source material. Well, am I a Todd Solondz fan? Excellent question. There's stuff of his I certainly enjoy, like Happiness. But there are films of his I'm very mixed on.

I wouldn't say he's one of my favorites because I'd watch his movies over and over if he was. I'll instead say I respect Todd Solondz because, while his films can be a mixed bag, the man has balls. He writes good screenplays about very uncomfortable subject matter. Just watch Happiness. The man actually made you feel for a child molester. That is talent. But there are his other films. A lot of his fans really seem to love his 1995 film Welcome to the Dollhouse. While it is an admirable film, I can't say I'm a fan. I found the film so uncomfortable that I've only watched it once and haven't planned on watching it since. It may be my least favorite of his.

Storytelling I enjoyed. Palindromes? Decent film, but just really awkward and uncomfortable. So there's only been one film of his I really loved, and the others got a mixed reaction from me. But with his first film since Palindromes may be his best since Happiness.

Life During Wartime is the name of Solondz' latest look at the seedy underbelly of polite society. It's somewhat of a sequel to Happiness, being set ten years later, involving the same characters. But the bizarre thing is nobody from the cast of Happiness is back. No Dylan Baker. Instead he's replaced by the rather scarier looking Ciaran Hinds. The offbeat yet charming Jane Adams is replaced by Shirley Henderson, who just strikes me as awkward and, I hate to be this guy, kinda homely. Jon Lovitz is replaced by Paul Reubens. Which actually kind of works. Call me crazy, but the change made sense, because I can see some sort of a resemblance.

So, at first, the cast changes bothered me. But I got over it quickly. The actors all turned in fine performances. I particularly liked Allison Janney (from Juno and Away We Go). And it's good to see Michael Lerner in the film, who I really liked watching on Barton Fink.

So the film takes place ten years later. Joy eventually got married, but it's not going very well. Trish has moved on since her husband got arrested for child molestation. Her two (in Happiness) very young children are lead to believe their father died as they got older. And their oldest, Billy (now in College), has gone along with it, hoping to forget what his father did to his best friend. And to get over Bill, she is now seeing somebody else, whom she intends to marry.

Joy needs a break from her husband, so she comes to Florida to stay with her writer sister. In the meantime, she is frequently visited by the ghost of her ex-boyfriend (Reubens), who is still very much in love with her. Meanwhile, Bill is released from jail and is looking to get his life back on track and reconnect with his family.

Whatever problems I had with Solondz' previous films has really been polished up. He brought in his A-game as a director and a screenwriter, making it the best film he's done in a long time. It's still very awkward, and there is still that wicked deadpan sense of humor, but it's at its best. Which was a relief, since it's been some time since his last movie. It really surpassed my expectations, as I had mixed feelings on the project since hearing about it a few years ago.

If you like Solondz' brand of black humor, even if you aren't a fan of his last couple films, this is really worth a watch.

Cinema, Matinee: The Spill.Con Blog (Chapter One)

Cinema. Matinee. I ain't got 7.50 to pay.



















Since 2007 I've been hearing these words every Friday, followed by the witty banter of the folks of Spill.com. What made me come to their site regularly for their movie reviews and podcasts is the great chemistry the crew has with one another, their sense of humor, and that when it comes to movies: they know their shit. They were funny and informative.

This year I finally got the chance to go to one of their parties, and this one was their most epic yet: Spill Dot Con. The name of the party alone makes you think epic parties and socializing. For three days, we were treated to just that and more. Plus, there was a film contest, which I entered. But I'll get into that later.

I flew in Thursday night from Cleveland. It was my first time flying on a plane since 2006, and my first time flying alone. Spent most of my downtime in the terminals watching Doctor Who episodes on my laptop before boarding the plane. I finally arrived Thursday afternoon and arrived at a friends house where I was staying. I spent most of this time talking to said friend, and swam in the pool for a while, eagerly waiting for the next day.

Finally came the big day. The day the con began. I arrived in Downtown Austin around 3-4PM. I spent some time exploring downtown Austin, looking up where the events were to take place and checking out the shops. My one regret is not spending more money at the shops. There were some great shops. Finally, I arrived at GSD&M on West 6th Street for the panel. It included the Spill Crew, three of the guys from Rooster Teeth Productions, Del the Funky Homosapien and his manager, and two people who work in advertising. The panel was all about making it in the creative field.

There was already a great vibe amongst the Spill members (or "Spillios") as everyone started to arrive. Everyone was already introducing themselves, shaking hands, engaging in conversation. It was great to finally put a face to the people I've been seeing online for the past couple of years.

The panel was a success, followed by a party that ran into a few problems. I got into Ace's Lounge no problem, but I heard there was problems getting people on the inside. So, in result, there seemed to be a little bit of tension. One of the Spill crew told me he even had trouble getting into the party. That's pretty messed up. So I hoped the following parties would pick up, which they certainly did. But that's for later.

Saturday was the most eventful day of the festival, in my opinion. First was an animation workshop from Korey himself. It showed us how the videos are made, the equipment he uses and useful tips to animating on flash. Some of the problems he brought up were problems I faced myself on Flash. And I got some very useful tips from him for any future animated projects.

Then came the moment I was most excited for, but also kind of dreading. It was the Spill.Con film festival at the Alamo Drafthouse. There was a contest involved, and I was told Korey got over 15 submissions and there were to be finalists to be eligible for the Golden Co-Host Award. The process was first the filmmaker was brought on stage before the film. We have a quick statement, we sit down at the table and watch the audience watch our films. Then Korey gives his critique, followed by the Spill Crew.

My Film:

This part had me the most nervous. Not sure why, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be as well-recieved. But surprisingly, everyone seemed to love it. Leon said it brought him back to the days when they were working on Public Access Television, when they had their show "The Reel Deal." I most most nervous about Co-Host's reaction, since he tends to go to comical extremes with his reviews. But he even gave it a great review, calling my film "charming." Now, I should talk about the other submissions, including the other finalists.

I really enjoyed the other films. I really had some competition. There was a hilarious piece by user MetalVirgin that was an instructional video on how to be a Spill member. There was a great art piece called "Whore Chalking" which I found hilarious as well. There was a very funny film called "Who's Your Daddy" about a man believing to be the bastard son of Cyrus, which was very well-written. There was an impressive 3D animated film parodying last year's 9. Following mine, there was a parody of Training Day that I really enjoyed. Like mine, it was also a fake trailer.

The winner was an animated piece called "Goatsey Come Home." For those who don't know, Goatsey is a rock star goat frequently mentioned on the podcast "Let's Do This!", not to be confused with a grotesque image on the internet. The film was about Goatsey running away from home and trying to start a new life as a rock star. I thought it was very funny and deserved the award. What made it work was how filled with inside jokes it was, that the filmmaker clearly pays close attention to all the podcasts. It worked as an animated film, but also as a love letter to Spill.com.

I didn't enter this contest to win. Really, it was all about getting something shown, at the legendary Alamo Drafthouse, to the Spill Crew and an audience of people. I'm really pleased with the reception mine got. At the following parties and at the end of the festival, I got loads of congratulations from the Spill Crew and various members and attendees. Certainly that boosted my confidence. But to Stephan, who made the film: you deserved it, sir. Bravo.

The winner won a gift card, the Golden Co-Host award, a tiara and roses. The rest of the finalists won medals. Mine sits between my Batman (TAS-era) figure and my Doctor Who Dalek on my dresser.

Following the finalists, we looked at the other submissions. I gotta tell you, I really enjoyed this presentation. The ones that weren't finalists were very funny, often surreal. The most surreal of all was not the film itself, but the experience before, during and after watching it. The man who made it interrupted Korey in the crowd, asking to show his film. He is brought on stage to talk for a while, and his film was shown. It was a webcam video of some kind of top 5.

Nobody knew what the hell was going on. It was very awkward but humorous after all was said and done. After the film, the guy had to leave, saying it was his mother's birthday. The crowd and the crew were all confused, wondering if this was serious. Cyrus jested (and I'm paraphrasing this) "right now he's putting on his monocle going (in British accent) 'it all went according to plan!'" I joked with other Spillios "either this guy has some kind of problem, or he's a comedic genius of Andy Kaufman-like proportions."

There was also an animated film by someone named "Solomon." Hopefully he puts the film on the site. Everybody was talking about it, because it was so insane and bizarre. There was a short with very impressive visuals, putting Co-Host 3000 in the Transformers 2 trailer. Somebody in Hollywood give this guy a job in Visual Effects!

So it was really cool that Korey and company showed the other short films that weren't finalists.


STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER TWO.

(link to photos coming soon)

REVIEW: TOY STORY 3

There's no arguing that the original Toy Story changed movie making. At least with animated films. They began the trend of CGI-animated films. I remember seeing the first advertisement in 1995 and being stunned and fascinated by the animation. I saw the movie opening weekend. Like all kids at the time, I went nuts for it. My sister and I had the toys, the Sega game and eventually the VHS. In 1999, I didn't get to see the sequel. In fact, I didn't see Toy Story 2 until last year, believe it or not. Thought it was good, not great. But it appears I'm the minority here.

Stuff from Pixar since Toy Story has been hit or miss for me. My consensus was that the films were cute but nothing I'd watch many times. For example, I've only seen Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo once. But I think Pixar has gotten better over the last few years. I really enjoyed The Incredibles (probably my favorite Pixar film), Wall-E and Up. It showed that Pixar was not only technologically ahead of other animation stations, but intellectually as well. They made animated films for kids and adults that didn't resort to fart jokes, pratfalls, and pop culture references. These were touching stories with great characters you felt for.

So it's 2010 and Pixar's latest offering could either prove them to be the best of the best, or could break them. The film is the long-awaited (11 years, in fact) second sequel to Toy Story.

The film is set (I assume) ten years after Toy Story 2. Andy is all grown up and getting ready to go to college. The toys haven't been played with in years and they fear being thrown away, hoping to just be locked up in the attic. Instead, by a turn of events, they end up donated to Sunnyside Day Care. What ensues is a mix of the usual Pixar charm and a parody of prison escape movies, such as The Great Escape and Escape from Alcatraz. The scenes of the toys being played with by toddlers is actually kinda brutal. The whole film takes a darker turn than the first two, or any Pixar film in my memory. But the story is great. It's nothing too original, in fact it kind of rehashes some elements of the second one, but it's done in such a way that it's not tiresome.

The film shows something we haven't seen since the original Star Wars trilogy: all three films being entertaining on top of being very well-made. The folks at Pixar brought their A-game to their last couple movies, but they brought their A-plus game to Toy Story 3. The film is touching and funny, and continues the theme of nostalgia for our childhood and the toys we played with. The voice casting is great. Tim Allen is at his best, Tom Hanks is great. Whoever they got to replace Jim Varney as Slinky, his impression is spot-on. Also, points go to Michael Keaton (as Ken) and Jeff Garlin (ironically cast as stuffed unicorn Buttercup).

Overall, the film is fun, nostalgic, and touching. The ending is rather heartwarming. It could lead to a fourth film, but I'd rather have Pixar leave it as a trilogy. All three films are great, but the third installment (in a totally rare case) may be the best.

TV Review: CHECK IT OUT WITH DR. STEVE BRULE

Don't ask why, but I love Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job. I say don't ask why because I honestly don't know why. Neither do any of my friends that are fans. There's something about their show that is just funny for no particular reason. Maybe it's the production value, the absurdity of their sketches, or how they spoof 80's and 90's public television. Yeah, that's it. Is it? Moving on...

The "Awesome Show" is a oddly delightful collection of bizarre sketches and bizarre characters. One of their characters is the inept reporter and "doctor" Steve Brule, played by one of my favorite actors, John C Reilly. I still wonder how they got him.

Steve Brule is a fictional TV personality whose shtick is he is inept and seems to have a mean case of Autism. Napoleon Dynamite could kick his ass. And yet he's respected enough as a doctor to get his own show on Channel 5. Which brings us to the new spin-off series "Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule".

So what is this show like? Kind of what you expect: a parody of public access TV with bad editing and poor production quality. The "Awesome Show" has pulled this style off with great finesse. The show's a mess. Often times a beautiful mess. The pilot begins with what Channel 5 looks like at four o' clock in the morning. A waving flag so an awful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner before it gets cut off with a slideshow to promote a swap meet. Finally we begin the 11-minute program.

So what's good and what's bad? What I like about it is that the show was seemingly shot on VHS tape (if not, they did a damn fine job making it look so). Not only that, but it has the look of being edited on tape, and the technical director is either extremely drunk or just lazy. The technical glitches bring a smile on my face. One, because it's the Tim & Eric shtick, and it kind of hits home to me, as I've had experience editing on VHS tapes for public access.

Unfortunately this is not a character who can (by looking at the pilot) hold his own series. The show kind of runs long for eleven minutes, and that's a bit of a problem. The first half works, but then the second half lags. It runs out of steam pretty fast.

It's not a horrible pilot. There's enough to remind you of the "Awesome Show", but I don't see this show running too long. I'm a Tim and Eric fan, and I think John C Reilly is an incredibly talented actor. But when your eleven minute show runs out of steam midway through, maybe we have a problem. Hopefully the show picks up after an episode or two.

MACGRUBER REVIEW.

SNL movies usually don't go over well. With the exception of The Blues Brothers and Wayne's World, they haven't been very successful or memorable. Sadly, to me, SNL has gone in that direction as well. I stopped watching SNL around junior high school, with the exception of some reruns. Occasionally, I'll see somebody I know watching it and I'll peep in, or something on the show will become popular on the internet. Some of it would be really funny and make me wonder what I've been missing. Other times I'll see something that makes me think "Oh, that's why I stopped watching." I recall a There Will Be Blood parody skit that had Mad TV-like suckitude, turning the "I Drink Your Milkshake" catchphrase (which I love) to a punny documentary show for the Food Network. Lame.

One of the skits that'll occasionally bring me back around are the MacGruber sketches. Simple premise, but they make me laugh. So when I read there was a movie being made of the character, I was skeptical. I thought "how could they take a simple series of sketches like MacGruber and make a movie out of it?"

To a degree, they actually pulled it off. Unlike most of the movies based on SNL skits, they don't have a series of sketches sewn together loosely by a so-called plot. The movie actually tries to be a standalone movie, and I can respect it for that. So much so that when they bring back jokes from the skits, it doesn't make you groan. It feels more like "OK, you deserved that one."

But that's not to say this is a great movie. There are some decent jokes and the story holds up okay. But there are some juvenile jokes that gets reactions ranging from "Wow, that was a misfire," to "I wonder if it's too late for a refund." But then a joke or plot point comes up that turns me back around with a good laugh.

What really attracted me to the skits and the movie is the fact that I like Will Forte. I'm even one of those guys who thought The Brothers Solomon was okay. He makes me laugh. Not so much on Saturday Night Live, but more-so on shows like Clone High and Sit Down Shut Up. His character on SDSU turned out to be my favorite on the whole series. He may be a better voice actor than a regular actor. This movie further proves so because there are times where its obvious he's having way too much fun to really act. I'm not saying he's horrible by any means. There are times where he just has too much fun.

In the end, there's good things and bad things about the movie. Good? Occasional big laughs and it doesn't try to be a 90-minute skit (I'm looking at you, Night At The Roxbury). The negative? With every good joke in the movie, there's 2 that are a misfire. The Blues Brothers and Wayne's World are still the best SNL movies. But MacGruber places behind them. And not like "Well, I guess this movie's the next best, but it still sucks." If you like action comedies, this movie is more of a rental.

Those Kooky Liberals and Their Baby-Killing (NSFW)

Before I begin with the NSFW Tomfoolery, some quick updates:

-Website is updated. www.mj-mcallister.tk
-New DeviantART Profile with Artwork.

Now, for something amusing that occurred on Facebook. Not for the easily offended.











It's what I do sir. Though I should thank Bob Odenkirk for that line.

Coming soon: My thoughts on parental supervision on television (based on a study I read).